Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
