Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
