Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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