Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
