you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
