I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
