Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
