That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
