69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
