If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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