Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
