In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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