So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
