In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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