We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
