Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
