Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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