4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
