i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
