Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
