He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
