we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
