So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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