I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
