The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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