There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you mean i was at the winter classic?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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