please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
