But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
