I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
