so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
