google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
