White coat. Heels.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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