That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
