Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Randomize
