I'm lost and stupid without you.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
