It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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