So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
