do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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