do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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