i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
