I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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