Nicole vs. Life
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
