i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
