Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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