can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
