ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
