ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
