we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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