bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
