i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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